My First Chinese Thanksgiving

This past Sunday we foreign English teachers celebrated the wonderful North American holiday that involves stuffing one's face with stuffing. One of our schools was kind enough to let us use their cafeteria, so we could all eat together. Each teacher had to bring something to be allowed to eat. While others brought roasted sweet potatoes and stuffing, I brought soda. I can cook Western food with a stove or oven, but using a wok is a different story. If I use a wok it is to cook Chinese food. That was the last thing I wanted to bring to Thanksgiving. I thought the other teachers would rise up and kill me, and it would be justifiable. We eat Chinese food every day; Western food marks a special occasion. I was also afraid that any American dish I attempted with a wok might end up making others sick.
It was fun celebrating an American holiday with native English speakers. I didn't have to explain the history behind Thanksgiving or the kinds of holiday food.
I did not stuff my face like back in the States, but I ate my fill. I truly was thankful that I was able to eat good food with friends. Isn't that what the holiday is about? Sometimes it takes a trip overseas to realize that simple things are very important.
However, we were not serious the whole time. We created a fun poster that made fun of our stay so far in China. We had two topics: "You know you've lived in China too long when..." and "But at least in China you can...". What follows is a list of what we wrote.
You Know You've Lived In China Too Long When...
- Cross-contamination ain't no thang
- You no longer pick up your tray at McDonald's
- You have difficulty eating with a fork
- Chicken bikes and naked hobos are common sights
- NOTHING phases you
- You can tell the difference between stinky tofu and urine
- You speak English and think no one can understand you
- You get used to the toilet paper roll that lives on every table
- You stare at foreign people, and they stare back, but you don't talk to each other
- You look at foreigners and think "Why are YOU here? You're not in THE PROGRAM?"
- You can't tell white people apart anymore
- You grunt for yes or no
- Your English grammar becomes Chinglish (and you talk to people back home in it)
- You squat, even when there are toilets
- You prefer hole-in-the-ground toilets to Western toilets, and get grossed out when you see Western toilets
- You fear the ai si bing (爱死疾)
- You add 'maybe' to the beginning of sentences
But At Least In China You Can...
- Wear split pants and have your kids poop and pee on the street or anywhere
- Get ten dumplings for 3 kuai (about 40 cents)
- See Chinese mullets
- Eat twenty cent pomegranates
- Exploring the world through the tongue! (A Chinese sign)
- Know how to use tudou and youku ... and even baidu
- Get perfect clothes made cheaply
- Toilet paper and soap in public bathrooms is a luxury
- Become bff with gangsters
- Scare little kids with your presence (By the way, I have done this.)
- Fit 30 people in an elevator or compact car (200 on a bus)
- Smoke everywhere, even when getting gas, or at the gym, or at the hospital
- Also want to eat a fruit together in the busy. (A Chinese sign)
Some of you may have stereotypes about China and Chinese people. I hope you found this list helpful in either destroying or strengthening your thoughts of China.