Guangzhou and Jackie Chan

I have to get something off my chest first. I SAW JACKIE CHAN!!!!! He was very small on a gigantic stage, but he was there and so was I. We were in the same zip code.
Now let me tell you how I gained this cool, Chinese experience. The Shenzhen Education Bureau offered us CTLC teachers a chance on Friday to attend a concert in Guangzhou, several hours drive from Shenzhen. I should add that this was totally and completely free. The Bureau paid for the round trip charter buses, the big dinner in Guangzhou, and the concert tickets. We didn't pay one cent. This was such a nice gesture of the Education Bureau. We were not the only people doing the trip from Shenzhen to Guangzhou; there were at least six other buses. I was amazed the restaurant we ate at could cope with several hundred foreigners and Chinese at once. We didn't have to wait long for our food to appear, and the food was pretty tasty.
The concert was the opening ceremony of the Guangdong International Tourism and Culture Festival, PPRD Tourism Promotion Convention (广东国际旅行文化节暨泛珠三角旅游推介大会). Before the concert, a small Chinese man stood on the stage and gave us cheering practice. Every audience member got a small bag of goodies on their seats. Inside were two items that Chinese people use to cheer performers: inflatable noisemakers and a light-up light saber. "Yi, er, san" and the crowd banged the noisemakers together. Next, we were taught to wave our light sabers in unison. You would never do that in the States. I guess individuality is not looked well upon, even at concerts. Or maybe we had to practice because Party officials were in the audience. It might be embarrassing to the Party if Chinese people were not in sync at a purely entertaining event.
The ceremony started with a bunch of local Party officials giving speeches about how great Guangdong is and how much the country has advanced since Deng Xiaoping's economic openness policy (改革开放). I had never heard such patriotic language before. It was quite different.
Then came the parade. Since it was a tourism festival, there was a float parade representing all of the major cities in Guangdong Province. I noticed that most of the floats showed aspects of Buddhism, like people standing on a lotus.
After the floats, the actual concert got underway. All of the singers were Chinese, and I didn't recognize any. Some were famous enough for the Chinese audience members to applause when they heard the names, but not famous enough for them to cheer during the song. I don’t know how great it is to be semi-famous in China. The stage was too big for just one singer, so there was a shit-load of backup dancers. Hundreds of people in costume attempting to dance in sync. And what would a Chinese concert be without fireworks? It would not be Chinese, I can tell you that. Almost every song was accompanied by some fireworks display. But fireworks can be overwhelming. The poor woman who sang the finale was drowned out. Now we’re at the moment of Jackie Chan. He had the weirdest backup dancers: hands. Some poor bastards danced around as smiley, gigantic hands with legs. Their arms were inside hands costume. What happens if they fall down? Does someone have give them a hand? (bad joke) He was the second-to-last performance, which was not the best decision. People left after he finished “We Are Ready.” This song was to mark one year before the Beijing Olympics. It is impossible to attend a concert in China without listening to some Olympic song. It’s a tad annoying hearing the same three songs over and over.
The concert ended and we took the bus back to Shenzhen.

My First Chinese Thanksgiving

This past Sunday we foreign English teachers celebrated the wonderful North American holiday that involves stuffing one's face with stuffing. One of our schools was kind enough to let us use their cafeteria, so we could all eat together. Each teacher had to bring something to be allowed to eat. While others brought roasted sweet potatoes and stuffing, I brought soda. I can cook Western food with a stove or oven, but using a wok is a different story. If I use a wok it is to cook Chinese food. That was the last thing I wanted to bring to Thanksgiving. I thought the other teachers would rise up and kill me, and it would be justifiable. We eat Chinese food every day; Western food marks a special occasion. I was also afraid that any American dish I attempted with a wok might end up making others sick.
It was fun celebrating an American holiday with native English speakers. I didn't have to explain the history behind Thanksgiving or the kinds of holiday food.
I did not stuff my face like back in the States, but I ate my fill. I truly was thankful that I was able to eat good food with friends. Isn't that what the holiday is about? Sometimes it takes a trip overseas to realize that simple things are very important.
However, we were not serious the whole time. We created a fun poster that made fun of our stay so far in China. We had two topics: "You know you've lived in China too long when..." and "But at least in China you can...". What follows is a list of what we wrote.
You Know You've Lived In China Too Long When...
- Cross-contamination ain't no thang
- You no longer pick up your tray at McDonald's
- You have difficulty eating with a fork
- Chicken bikes and naked hobos are common sights
- NOTHING phases you
- You can tell the difference between stinky tofu and urine
- You speak English and think no one can understand you
- You get used to the toilet paper roll that lives on every table
- You stare at foreign people, and they stare back, but you don't talk to each other
- You look at foreigners and think "Why are YOU here? You're not in THE PROGRAM?"
- You can't tell white people apart anymore
- You grunt for yes or no
- Your English grammar becomes Chinglish (and you talk to people back home in it)
- You squat, even when there are toilets
- You prefer hole-in-the-ground toilets to Western toilets, and get grossed out when you see Western toilets
- You fear the ai si bing (爱死疾)
- You add 'maybe' to the beginning of sentences
But At Least In China You Can...
- Wear split pants and have your kids poop and pee on the street or anywhere
- Get ten dumplings for 3 kuai (about 40 cents)
- See Chinese mullets
- Eat twenty cent pomegranates
- Exploring the world through the tongue! (A Chinese sign)
- Know how to use tudou and youku ... and even baidu
- Get perfect clothes made cheaply
- Toilet paper and soap in public bathrooms is a luxury
- Become bff with gangsters
- Scare little kids with your presence (By the way, I have done this.)
- Fit 30 people in an elevator or compact car (200 on a bus)
- Smoke everywhere, even when getting gas, or at the gym, or at the hospital
- Also want to eat a fruit together in the busy. (A Chinese sign)
Some of you may have stereotypes about China and Chinese people. I hope you found this list helpful in either destroying or strengthening your thoughts of China.

Hong Kong Time

Last Saturday I went to Hong Kong. Since I live in Xili, it was not a quick trip. I expected more from the actual entrance to Hong Kong, at least a sign that said, "Welcome to Hong Kong. We write colour." No sign, no notice, no nothing. The only signal was that the English spoken by one Chinese employee was with a British accent.
Albeit, it was nice to hear English spoken more properly than on the Mainland, I should let people know that there is one thing I don't like about Hong Kong: too many foreigners. In Mainland China, you can spend an entire day without seeing one fellow round-eye. This means we play games, like find the foreigner. We point out foreigners every time. Sometimes we point; other times we whisper or yell 外国人(foreigner). Such games cannot be played in Hong Kong because you see them every few minutes.
Hong Kong's metro is more advanced than Shenzhen's, but it is also more expensive despite the fact that the Hong Kong Dollar is cheaper than the RMB. The metro stations are full of propaganda and public service annoucements. The posters advise you not to turn a blind eye to corruption. (Insert whatever comment you want here. You know me well enough.) This metro reminds me of DC. The stations are given place names, not addresses, and the lines are shown with colors.
Unfortunately, due to my short stay in Hong Kong I did not do much touring. Ben and I walked around some malls (seemed to be everywhere) to compare prices. Hong Kong malls are FULL of foreign brands, which are already expensive because foriegn is exotic. Hong Kong just makes them more expensive. It made me miss Shenzhen, where I can purchase cheap goods.
The best part of the little touring I did was the Avenue of the Stars (星光大道), Hong Kong's version of the Hollywood stars. I was amazed by how many Chinese actors and directors I recognized: Jet Li, Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Anita Mui, Yuen Wu Ping, Stephen Chow. Most visitors were Chinese, whether from Hong Kong or the Mainland I could not tell.
After twenty-four hours in Hong Kong, we returned to our little Xili. Of course I didn't want to go teach. Why can't life be a vacation?

Happy Valley

Students had midterms this week, what they call mid-term examinations. So I only taught Monday and Tuesday. Those days were pretty easy because I showed them movies. I want them to enjoy what they can of their childhood, and they spend most of their time studying. The Chinese education system focuses on tests and school work. Vacations and relaxation are overlooked. The rest of the week was free, so a group of us foreign teachers went to an amusement park called Happy Valley.
Amusement parks for Chinese people are like Braille magic eye posters for a blind man. He can use them, but he won't get to enjoy them fully. Chinese people seem to be prone to motion sickness. I've seen people throw up riding the bus, but I can't blame them with some of the horrible rides I've been on. I don't know the process to be a bus driver, but I don't think good driving skills is a requirement.
AnnaRae, Ashlee, Alana, Danielle, Ben, and I met up Wednesday afternoon. It’s been a while since I was at an amusement park, and I acted like a little girl. We rode a lot of rides too. Yay! The first ride we did spun us around and upside down. But before we even got a chance to ride it, we had to wait for them to clean up vomit. Some poor Chinese person puked on the ride! Was this a cultural sign of China?
That was our only encounter with vomit, including the suspended roller coaster. That was an experience in itself. We waited in line outside; then we were taken into a room where a Chinese woman made us stretch. We had to stretch from our necks to our waists. I started giggling at this roller coaster preparation. When a Chinese guy REALLY let loose with his stretching exercises, I lost it. I couldn’t stop laughing. After this wonderfully Chinese approach to suspended roller coasters, we got on the actual ride. Finally! And the ride only lasted 30 seconds. I guess if it lasted any longer, Chinese people who puke and pass out. Who would want to see that?
We went on a lot of other rides, but there was one that gave another interesting China experience: the Sky Drop. The drop wasn’t that high, but people screamed. Chinese people also screamed at the 4-D movie we saw. We Americans watched quietly. The Chinese audience screamed when Frisbees flew out to our faces and water fell down as rain. They must have been into the movie. I was astounded by the horrible acting.
The amusement park also had a part called Shangri-La Woods. It was not an exact replica of Tibet, but you could dress like a Tibetan.

Chinese Parks and Censorship

Saturday was an interesting combination of the good and the bad of living in China. Let's start with the good.
Early Saturday morning (Ok, maybe not such a good way to start my weekend), Ben and I were kidnapped by some Chinese teachers to go to Mangrove Park (红树林). 'Kidnap' is what we use to describe when Chinese people take us foreigners places. Sometimes we get a warning. Other times, we just disappear with them. This happened to another teacher in Xili. Annie, Melissa, Shelley (another English teacher) took us. They invited us out and paid for everything. I mean everything! They brought snack food and water for everyone to eat; they paid the cab fare; they even paid for dinner that night. The polite American in me wanted to pay for something, but I wasn't allowed to. This kind of behavior is 'saving face,' and I didn't want to insult them. The park was beautiful, lots of greenery and not too many people. I had personal space in a Chinese park! We had a little snack picnic for several hours under a nice tree. Despite the protection of said tree and shade, I still managed to get burned. Stupid me didn't put on sunscreen, so my face, chest, and arms were the classic color, pink-going-on-burned-red. Let me add that the Chinese teachers we were with did not burn. It's just the pale, white people that burn in China. Does that make the Chinese sun racist?
On a strange side note, during a picnic some bitch walked over to us with her husband. She stopped within two feet of our picnic, stared at our group and said in Chinese, "Those are dark people (referring to our friends). They are white (referring to us)." Calling a Chinese person's skin dark is not nice at all. Chinese women spend money on products to whiten their skin. At first I thought I misheard this woman, but our Chinese friends suddenly got quiet. So I said, "Yes we are white" in English. It helped lighten the mood a bit. If I had thought about it more, I would have told her in Chinese not to be rude because that woman's skin was pretty dark.
After the park, we decided to go see a movie. Now onto the bad part of China: censorship. I can watch Chinese movies, but I always end up missing something in the translation. Ben's Chinese is almost non-existent, so we voted for a movie with either English words or subtitles. We ended up watching "Wanted." Ben already saw this movie in the States, so he pointed out where scenes were missing. There were quite a few, so the film felt a bit choppy. Poor Chinese audiences unaware that the government is censoring their American movies. The scenes they chose to omit were a bit strange. We never saw Angelina Jolie's naked backside, but we saw rats blown up. Almost all of the blood and gore was kept in, which leaves me to wonder what China has against butts. Pools of blood...Ok. Naked butt...Not ok. But you can't walk down a street here without seeing some baby's naked behind and genitalia. I guess I still have much to learn about modern Chinese culture and politics. Also, they kept in all of the foul language, although it was toned down a bit for the Chinese subtitles.

万圣节

That's the Chinese word for Halloween (wan4 sheng4 jie2).
My costume was that of a Chinese woman, really a modern Chinese woman's view of a Western woman. This fashion style is popular, but I must say they haven't got it just right yet. There are a lot of fashion examples that would never exist in the West. And for good reason sometimes, but that's my American opinion. For those American fashion-conscious people out there...manpris!
Chinese kids aren't really familiar with this American holiday. All they think of is 'trick or treat.' They don't really know what else happens. I taught some of my classes what the phrase really means. So now there are Chinese that know more than American students. Ha! I also taught a few of my classes why we wear costumes. The more they understand of American culture, the better, especially if they plan on studying in the States.
This year's Halloween night was a good example of a famous Chinese phenomenon, 'nowism.' We face nowism every day, and we must always be ready to adapt to changes. The original plan was to go to NYPD Pizza for a party (a pizza delivery service in Futian District, next to the district I live in). Ben and I went with some of our Chinese coworkers: Annie (librarian), Carol (English teacher), Melissa (English teacher), Daniel (simultaneous interpretation teacher), Deng (music teacher), and Jason (Geology teacher).
First case of nowism: the site of the party changed.
Second case of nowism: you had to pay to enter the party area even if you didn't want all the beer and pizza you could eat.
We foreign teachers earn a lot more than our Chinese counterparts, so the entrance fee was a bit steep. I listened to some of the music played, and then we went to eat Japanese.
Third case of nowism: some of our foreign friends wanted to hang out with us.
So we tried to find a karaoke bar to sing and hang out.
Fourth case of nowism: we couldn't find a place available, so we returned to another Ashlee and AnnaRae's apartment to drink, watch movies, and have fun. (We, meaning Ben, me, Jason, Melissa).
First cultural conflict: the Americans wanted a decision made then and there about what to do. the Chinese were more laissez faire.
Fifth case of nowism: somehow we lost the other Chinese teachers.
At the apartment, we played cards and had a fun drinking time. Then Ben and I walked back to school with our Chinese friends.
Here is when I am totally impressed with Jason and Melissa. They were tipsy, but they continued to communicate in English. I was so impressed that they could and wanted to speak English. I think it really helped their speaking skills. And they also learned a bit about young American culture.

Traditional cupping

Last Wednesday, I experienced traditional Chinese medicine, cupping. Cupping is when little glass cups are stuck to your back. There are different ways to attach said cups. For me, the cups were dipped in what smelled, or stunk, like bai jiu (白酒). Then the alcohol is lighted (or is it lit?), quickly put out, and quickly placed on your back. The flame sucks all the oxygen out of the cup, which causes the suction. Your skin is sucked into the cup, so your entire back skin is stretched. You lie there for a few minutes while the suction sucks out all of your bad toxins. I didn't feel any toxins being expunged, but my back did feel warm. After a few minutes of back skin stretching, the cups are taken off. One of the 'side effects' of cupping is the marking. The skin sucked into the cup turns red. Since I am very pale, these marks are more pronounced. But the marks don't hurt, at least in my case.
I thought it interesting to mention that the place I experienced this traditional Chinese treatment was in a very Western part of the city, Shekou. At Shekou, you see entire Western families walking about.